New Year, new me?
More like New Year, old me, annoyed that I haven’t magically transformed into a glorious, organised, put together New Year’s unicorn.
Let’s be honest sometimes New Year can really suck.
It reminds you of all the ways you are not perfect and definitely not the New Year’s Unicorn. At best, I felt like a Hogmanay Horse, feeling a little bit shitty that my life had a long way to go before I was even close to hitting the resolutions that I had set for myself.
Sandra had just had a job promotion, Rita was engaged, and Mary was ‘finding herself’ in Thailand. Me? I was trotting round in circles, wondering what to do with my life and why I always had to pick friends whose names featured in ‘Mambo No. 5’.
How could I escape this feeling of mediocrity? How could I start hitting some of the goals I had created for myself?
Then it hit me!
(Not through an actual moment of brilliance, just stealing someone else’s idea off Instagram)
Maybe before I became the New Year’s Unicorn, I actually needed to enjoy being the Hogmanay Horse.
Ok, unicorn and horse aside (even I have no idea what I am talking about now), sometimes you have to make the best of the current situation to spot the opportunities which are waiting for you.
Neuroscientist Emily McDonald (Insta tag emonthebrain) has some useful advice when it comes to training your brain to see the positive.
Emily says that, when you are stressed about the way that your life is (or the way that it isn’t in my case), the amygdala ‘hijacks the process your brain uses to construct reality’. Your brain starts ‘flagging neutral things as threats’ and inventing ‘problems which are not actually there.’ Stress ‘narrows your focus’ and makes ‘you less open to possibilities.’
So how do we start seeing these possibilities? How can we use this new insight as a tool to create our ideal lives?
Emily suggests that we ‘slow down, pour into [ourselves] and surrender to the flow.’
By letting go of all the ways we feel that we are not good enough, we stop stress from narrowing our field of vision. We start to notice more of the positive. We are relaxed enough to be creative and think constructively about what we would like to do with our lives, instead of beating ourselves up about not being as successful as Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra (in the sun), Mary (all night long), Jessica (here I am)…
Sorry, no more ‘Mambo No. 5’ references- you get the picture.
Paradoxically, it is being ok with the way that we are, which lets us transform into the person we want to be.
See, it must be working. I started off this post using a unicorn and horse analogy, and now I am using words like ‘paradoxically’!
So whilst I am very happy for Sandra and her job promotion, I am also happy about my very imperfect and slightly wacky life.
So if you take any advice this New Year…
Say hello to the Hogmanay Horse!
The Frazzled English Woman 